May 25, 2019
  • 12:34 pm Martin Licis Found In Apartment With Illegal Anime Goods
  • 12:33 am Japanese Cat Cafe Undergoes Extensive Examination
  • 8:55 pm AI-Powered Degutter and Meat Grinder Ravage Philadelphia
  • 8:38 am Teenager Helps Local Farmer Create AI-Powered Slaughterhouse
  • 8:52 pm Notre Dame Cathedral Catches Fire After Rave Party

An AI-powered degutter and meat grinder have escaped Pepperidge Farm, Philadelphia.

Ethan Icich and Daniel Chadcliffe, the creators of the abominations, are under governmental protection as they attempt to find ways to remotely disable the robots.

“[The robots are holding] 42 people hostage, the use of force is prohibited.”

Chief of Staff of the United States Army, General Mark A. Milley.

The robots have hijacked a nearby cell tower, hijacking printers worldwide to send their message. Experts are not entirely sure what they mean.

In the wake of mass destruction, PETA has taken up the torch.

“So like, now we’re dropping off all of our animals on top of the robots to slow them down.” Ezra Peta says in an online interview.

Interpol agents are still hunting down Peta after he escaped from the Notre Dame Cathedral.


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